“I know this season is SO HARD. Your kids have been through trauma the past few years –– we all have –– which makes this even more emotional, even when the news is good. Hug your kids. Tell them you are excited for them no matter what. Tell them this is not a measure of their worth, that they have huge things ahead no matter where they go, that all steps forward are steps forward. Consider doing it BEFORE they get their decisions. And then every day for the rest of the time you have them at home. They will squirm, but they need reminding all the same.”
~Allison Slater Tate
The penultimate stage of the 2022 admission cycle has thirty days left. By April 1st, 99% of the colleges will have rendered decisions on their applicant pool. Whether you get the answer that you were looking for or not, there are some Do’s and Don’ts that families should follow. In Part 2 of this blog, I am going to start with the scenario for the student that received an acceptance to a reach school that feels like a dream come true. Part 3 will focus on what to do if the news is not what you had hoped.
If you have a senior that is waiting to hear from a college where they submitted an application, here are some suggestions;
- Create time and space for these answers to come in. Most colleges announce the time that they will release their decisions. Make a plan to have your student get their answer in a place where they feel safe and supported. Clear your schedule so that your home is quiet and you are available for them. Do not host your younger child’s pasta dinner for their hockey team at the same time that your older child is getting their decision from Yale.
- Have a plan for how to celebrate if the answer is YES! Is it dinner at their favorite restaurant? Putting on their favorite music and having a dance party? Breakfast for dinner? I am sure you have some idea of how your student would like to celebrate. Just make sure that the celebrating is done in the privacy of your own home.
- Create a plan in case the news that your child receives is disappointing. Maybe they need to stay in their room for the evening, maybe they want some comfort food delivered, maybe they need to be with you. Talk about this in advance so you are prepared.
- Remember that as a parent, an acceptance will feel great, but a denial might sting you as badly as it does the student. Create a plan for yourself in the event that your child does not get the decision that they want. You might need some space to process this.
- Keep all of this news private until your student is ready to share.
The words that I quoted above from Allison Slater Tate are gold. If all else fails, just keep reading them!